


All Is Fair In Love And War

by FBIEpidemic



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Korean War, Nobody gets shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-08-28 09:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16720542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBIEpidemic/pseuds/FBIEpidemic
Summary: Emily Prentiss has always loved Aaron Hotchner. Through high school, to college. As their lives take different paths, their love fades.Takes place at the beginning of the Korean War





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I like this so might delete later
> 
>  
> 
> God, I sound like I'm posting a selfie on Instagram

_"At some point in your life, you're going to have to start demanding what you deserve and be willing to walk away if what you require can't be provided." -r.h.sin_

**November 21st, 1949**

Emily held her drink high as she made her way through the crowd. Elbows that connected to people that she wasn't quite tall enough to see over the heads of, press into her as they push past and into her. With every elbow comes the feeling as if she's on a ship, the threat of beer sloshing over the side like waves on the deck. On the rocking ship, she makes it past Anna Milton, a long-haired blonde with even longer legs, who smiles with the grace that a girl with legs as long as her's shouldn't have.

"Killer party, huh?" She asked over the drone and thumps of the people and music all around them. Emily nodded, pushing back thick black hair with the tips of unmanicured fingernails. Anna leans in an and plants a wet kiss on Emily's cheek, Anna pulls away with a smile that only comes across her face when she's intoxicated.

"It's good to see you without your head in a book! Finals are torture!" she laughed and Emily only shrugs, pulling her beer closer to her slightly parted lips now that she doesn't have so much moving to do.

"Tell me about it." Emily lets an easy smile fall over her face. She doesn’t even have to think twice before stopping herself from making a sly comment on the fact that they both know that Anna did not study for her finals. Not at all like Emily did.

"You think you did ok?" she asks, stepping so close that Emily can smell their perfumes mixing in the air and she can see the powder that Anna pats around her neck that covers the freckles she’s so insecure about. The way Anna mingles with the others, her breath coming out to the beat of the stomping feet remind Emily of being home. 

"I did as well as I could. You?" Emily watches Anna roll her eyes to the ceiling and shake her head.

"Same, I guess!" Anna throws her shoulder into Emily's, pushing her slightly. Emily hates Anna does that. She’s over animated, overzealous and falls in love too often. Emily might actually be jealous. But with the way Anna grins and taps her shoulder again, Emily’s feelings fizzle out. Anna winks," don’t be modest, though. I know you probably aced.”

Emily could feel her cheeks heating up and the coloring emerging at the tips of her ears but she continued to shake the compliment off. She is being modest because she wants to go to Stanford next year. Hopkins coming in as a close second. She has to be modest or everything about medical school might just swallow her up.

"Enough about school," Anna tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're here to have fun and," sweeping her hand to motion to the crowd of bobbing bodies," there are plenty of bachelor's of your choosing."

"Yeah," she trailed, looking around and she nods. There are plenty of boys.

"Here," invading Emily's personal space more than she thought was possible, Anna pulls Emily's hair on to her shoulders and planting two sweaty hands on her cheeks," and remember to have a good time! Get lucky!"

"Get lucky," Emily repeats to herself with a small smile. She shakes her head and makes her way to the room closest to the door. At least here, Anna would not only miss Emily sneaking out she would also miss Emily ditching the beer falling over the lid of her too full cup. She didn't need this stupid party to get lucky, what she needs is for Aaron to get out of training and come home. Then, she could have all the luck she wanted.

Emily sent a smile to the decent looking boy standing by the door before she pushed the heavy oak door open to allow the crisp air of the night to hit her face with rejuvenating breeze. She closed her eyes as the wind decided to pick back up and she closes her eyes and enjoys the cool breeze against her clammy skin.

"A little birdy told me you'd be here."

She opens her eyes and standing in front of her, decked out in a dark leather jacket, a tight white shirt, and blue jeans is none other than her Aaron. Her superstar. Her secret that haunts her nightlife. 

It's like a reflex. She doesn't even have to think about because her feet leave the ground and she's in his arms. She's surrounded by warmth and hard muscle.

The human diction allows for multiple ways to express oneself in a way where the same words never have to be repeated and yet it almost always comes down to the same three words.

"I love you."

She can feel his smile against her neck and then his hot breath agreeing. "I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I had this going but... Here we go again!!

**"One a bike no one ever asks, 'are we there yet?"**   
**-Stacy Westfall**

August 3rd, 1950 (10 minutes to 11)

His smile is bright in the street light, she should have expected that.

"You can have the funky helmet." He flips it over his hand and extends the white helmet to her. His smile is so enchanting that she couldn't say no if she wanted. 

She can feel his eyes on her as she flicks her hair out of the way with the back her fingers. 

"It makes everyone look-" the words die on his lips. A helmet renowned for making everyone, even his kid brother, look absurd has no effect on her. "Beautiful."

Her head turns up and she looks at him with wide eyes. There is a childlike curiosity that they carry between them. Personally, Aaron wants to tear not only that curiosity away but her clothes as well. But he’s been away too long for her just to come swinging back to him. It’s his own fault, he’ll just have to live with it. 

"Just, uh, throw your leg over the side and be careful about this pipe." He points out a longer pipe down the back of the bike. She voices her understanding but she can't even hear herself over the roar of the bike. When the rumbling of the bike drops to more of a drone instead of the blaring pistons, he turns to her and smiles. "You can hop on now, just be careful of the-"

She nods so he stops his reminder and just watches her with focused eyes as she throws her left leg over his bike. It's her hands that force both of their bodies to become confused.

"You might want to hold on to my jacket," the words feel thick coming from his mouth. Almost like what he's saying his thick with sin instead of just the truth. "Jus-Just wrap your arms around my waist, you have to hold on to something."

He can feel everything as her chest presses against his back and her thighs come to meet with the back of his own. Slowly, her arms come to wrap around his waist and he has to take a deep breath to remind himself of what he's supposed to be doing.

"Alright."

Emily Prentiss had ridden on motorcycles. Almost every high school boyfriend she ever had driven one. Half of the thrill and emotion that she shared with those boys had something to do with their choice of transportation. Yet, seating with her arms wrapped around Aaron Hotchner's body it's like she's never done anything in her life. She's forgetting simple English. She's acting like she's not going into Pre-Med and like she's not smarter than he is. 

"What-" she stops when she realizes that her voice is failing her. She clears her voice and leans closer to him. He smells like cigarette smoke and dirt. It is oddly hot and invigorating but it smells like comfort and a home that she hasn’t had since he left. "Where are we going?"

She can hear the smile in his voice. "I thought we could stop for some food." 

She holds a gasp as he takes a hard turn and lights flare up around her. The LED lights of a Diner reading Tom's Cafe come upon them so quickly she doesn't have the time to tell him no. 

He shuts the bike off and masterfully pulls his leg off without so much as bringing his foot near her. 

"Here," he had touched her countless times before. His rough hands take her smaller ones and make the difficult descend from the bike much easier. 

"Thanks." Why does it feel like they're in a high school relationship all over again? Like he’s kissed her for the first time or they’re about to have sex for the first time instead of going to dinner like they have a hundred times before.

He doesn't wait for her to pull her helmet off before he turns away and heads into the diner, helmet in hand.

She awkwardly runs to catch up. 

"Two orders of fries and a cheeseburger." 

Blush rushes up to her cheeks. Ever since their first date, he's had this thing where he always gets her the same thing because she was too embarrassed to get what she really wanted the first time he took her out. 

As a boy often starved for just for the fun of it, he always goes out of his way to make sure she eats. Even if that means he has to order for both of them. 

He's her prince charming, and he knows it. 

"Come on." He offers his hand once again and she finds herself reaching for it without so much as a second thought. 

She loves this man before her with all of her heart and she hasn't the faintest clue why. 

"Tell me what I've missed. Everything. I want to know if the rain tasted funny or if that guy in the apartment above us started vacuuming at a more reasonable hour." He leans over the table and grins stupidly at her. "Everything."

Since the first date, Emily had this awful feeling in her stomach. An ache that she knew he was to blame for. This ache always makes itself present when he's like this. Eager and actually happy. 

When he's her Aaron and not his father's. 

She takes a moment to think of her answer. When really his comment about ‘their’ apartment is clouding her mind. It’s hardly ‘their’s’ anymore. His stuff is all boxed up, waiting for him to come home and open it all back up. 

It comes to her when she catches him fiddle with the edge of his jacket. “Actually, our neighbor, Sally Hain? Yeah,” Emily smiles when Aaron makes a face, one that she knows he’s amused at her for bringing up this particular neighbor but also interested in what is to come next. “Well, Sally has this boyfriend, a piece of shit.”

Aaron’s eyebrows draw up but he makes no comment, instead of tapping a cigarette into the palm of his hand. His eyes are still drawn to her with full attention.

“Well, he loves to pick fights with her before he leaves. He works nights,” she smiles and blush makes the tips of her ears burn as Aaron smiles right back at her. “So every night, about nine, they have this shouting match in the hall. I’m wouldn’t be surprised if the super hasn’t said something to them.”

Emily shakes her head, eyes forcefully leaving his. Her blood seems thicker, hotter with him so close. She’s dreamed about this night for months. Waited on him to come back so that she could love and hold him. Now he’s here and it seems fake. A part of her is torn between being afraid he’ll leave again and being afraid that she doesn’t know him anymore.

“Did you quit?” He offers her his cigarette, his fingers wrapped perfectly around its dark end. He’s doing that thing with his eyebrows. It reminds her of when people have secrets and you’ve fallen into the trap of asking about them. They want to tell you but they’re too coy with making you guess than to give you the answers and lose at their game. 

She takes it from his hands, not sure if the warmth in her hands is from the smoke or how close he is. “Couldn’t. I had one every time I studied. They’re a crutch.” Looking at the burning tip, she wonders why she can’t tell him the complete truth. Because the truth is, every time she missed him she dug up a pack and smocked them on the roof. Watching as each one took the plummet down with her red-stained lip prints. 

He takes it back from her and watches the smoke for a moment before putting it back in his mouth and drawing a deep breath. “I always told myself that I wouldn’t smoke.” 

She knows. He used to tell things like that before he left. He would pull the comforter off of their bed and take her hand. He’d lead her to the roof and they’d seat in the silence of the overwhelming night. Until he would spill his guts, whatever bothered him at that moment.

He offers her the rest but she shakes her head and so he puts it out in the ashtray. He gives her a sad smile, her eyes fleet to the sleeve of his jacket. His pale skin betraying what they are both thinking about.

“Have you gone to see him?” Her eyes leave his wrist but the message is there. It can’t be misunderstood.

Aaron smiles sadly, missing her eyes. He shakes his head and leans forward on the table to lean his elbow on the table as he runs his hand through his hair.

His hair. Just another thing that’s changed since he left. He had long hair that came to his eyebrows and now he’s got a crew cut. For a moment, no longer nor any shorter, she wants to reach over and runs her fingers through it. What would it smell like if he isn’t using whatever the green bottle is that he feels the name off of? 

That used to bother her. The fact that he’d buy shampoo and then just peel the name off of it. Just one of those little things that don’t really mean something. She misses fussing with him about the toilet lid, and the shampoo, and not picking his socks off of the bedroom floor.

She reaches across the table, already missing him when he’s right there with her. His eyes are wet, he’s wiping tears from his eyes, his jaw is clenched as he wills his body not to let any more tears fall. “Hey.” 

He looks at her, eyes red-rimmed and angry. 

She smiles at him like her world isn’t coming in around them too. “I’ll come with you. Shaun will be there. He’ll want to see you.” She knows him. She knows that her lingering eyes, the way he can’t cover the cigarette burns on his wrist. He can’t escape his father and neither can she. 

“I’ve got a cheeseburger and fries,” they both look up and smile. It’s the kinds of smiles that you learn quickly to fake. Hers is from years of parties and men who can’t hold their liquor. His is from telling teachers that he tripped again and laughing it off when they ask who taught him to walk. 

Aaron is quick to take the trays from the girl. Her name tag is placed strategically above her ample breast, Emily wonders if that’s all big industry men think of. Still, Emily smiles at the girl with the sloppily written ‘Betty’ written on her left breast. 

“I should have gotten you a milkshake.” He smiles but it still doesn’t mask his eyes. 

She just shakes her head and steals a couple fries out of the box that he’s pushed closer to himself. He chuckles and says accusingly,” I got you fries!”

A smile takes over her face and snatches another before he can smack at her fingers,” your’s are better?”

He rolls his eyes,” you’re unbelievable.”

“Hardly. You’re just not-” 

Silence fills the cafe. It’s just the two of them at this time of the night. It’s Thursday night, no one but college students are out at this time. 

The two sit in uncomfortable silence. 

“I…” 

Aaron shakes his head and pops a couple of french fries in his mouth. “No, I deserve those comments. I’m not home.” He sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. 

When you join the Army, they tell you all about everything they want you to know. You’re serving your country, all of that shit. They don’t tell you that after you come home and wind down from the rush of seeing the people you love that things just go downhill. You both learned to live without the other. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I got a cat.”


End file.
